知っておきたい通夜・葬式の参列マナー:お悔やみの挨拶について

結婚式は、かなり前から予定が分かっていることが多いのですが、お葬式は突然やってくるものです。

突然訃報の知らせが来た際や、通夜・告別式に弔問に訪れる場合などに、遺族の方にお悔やみの挨拶をする必要があります。

葬儀の場では、話すべきではない言葉(忌み言葉)があるので、手短で簡単な挨拶でもマナーを守るようにしましょう。

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お悔みの挨拶の目的と注意点

お悔やみの挨拶とは、故人の死を悼み悲しむ気持ちを、ご遺族の方に伝えるための言葉です。自分の気持ちを伝えると同時に、遺族や関係者の方に対する慰めの言葉でもあります。

挨拶の言葉をかける際は、故人の死について残念な気持ちを伝えますが、遺族の方の悲しみの感情を深めるような事をしないように、配慮をしなければなりません。

そのため、お悔みの挨拶はシンプルな、言葉を選ぶと良いでしょう。

葬儀の際に、挨拶の言葉をかける場合には、会話内容や用いる表現を選択するようにして、ご遺族の方の感情に傷を付けないようにすることがマナーです。

弔問に訪れる際は、話すべき内容と口にすべきではない言葉を理解しておく必要があります。葬儀の際に弔問に訪れる際は、自分と故人との関係、宗教・宗派などについても事前に把握しておくようにします。

宗教・宗派によって、遺族の方の死生観が異なりますし、故人が亡くなった状況によって、言葉を選ばなければならないからです。

葬儀に不慣れな場合には、挨拶の言葉の内容は、文例集などを参考にしながら無難な表現を用いるようにしましょう。

一般的に葬儀の際に口にすべきではない言葉

普段の会話で何気なく使っているような表現でも、葬儀の場では口にすべきではない言葉がたくさんあります。葬儀の際に使うべきでない表現(禁句)のことを、「忌み言葉」と呼びます。

忌み言葉を挨拶や弔辞の際に口にすると、マナー違反になってしまうので注意が必要です。

宗教・宗派に関係なく、葬儀の場で口にすべきではない忌み言葉ですが、死を直接連想させてしまうような表現、繰り返しや継続を意味する表現、故人の苦しみを連想させるような表現などがあります。

忌み言葉を使わないようにするために、挨拶をする際は慎重に言葉を選ぶようにします。

死を直接連想させるような表現には、死亡・死去など「死」を含むものがあります。「訃報」「逝去」「他界」など、「死」という言葉を避ける表現を用いるようにします。

葬儀の場では、繰り返しや継続を意味する表現(重ね言葉)も、避けなければなりません。重ね言葉には「重なる」「重ね重ね」「また」「またまた」「再び」「度々」「再三」「次に」など、普段の会話で何気なく使用している表現も含まれるので、注意をするようにしましょう。

故人の苦しみを連想させてしまうような表現も、使用しないように注意を払う必要があります。

例えば、「迷う」「浮かばれない」「苦しむ」「九」「四」などがあります。

宗教ごとに注意すべき挨拶のマナーとは

一般的に、通夜や告別式などの葬儀は、宗教儀式として執り行われます。

大抵の場合、葬儀はいずれかの宗教の儀式なので、お悔やみの挨拶の際は、他の宗教・宗派の教義に関する表現を、口にしないように注意を払う必要があります。

日本で執り行われる葬儀のほとんどは、仏教・キリスト教・神道です。宗教ごとに、適切な言葉を選ばなければなりません。

仏式葬で注意すべき挨拶として、「ご冥福をお祈りします」という表現があります。「冥土」の教義を含む宗派であれば問題ありませんが、浄土真宗の教義には「冥土」が存在しません。

宗派が分からない時は、「冥福」という表現を避けた方が良いでしょう。

キリスト教では、人の死は人生の終わりではなく、永遠の命の始まりであると考えられています。人の死は「不幸」ではないので、キリスト教葬の場合には、お悔やみの言葉が存在しません。

それでも、ご遺族の方を慰めるための言葉をかけることができます。この場合でも、「悔やむ」「不幸」「残念」などの表現を使わないようにします。

キリスト教葬の場で、仏教用語を使用しないように注意をする必要もあります。

仏教やキリスト教では、人は死後に、どこか遠い世界に行ってしまうと考えられています。ところが神道では、死者の霊はどこか遠くに行ってしまうのではなくて、その家の守護神となると信じられています。

神式葬では、故人が遠くに行ってしまうことを連想させるような表現を、使わないようにすべきです。

お悔みの挨拶の仕方とは

葬儀の際に、お悔みの挨拶をする際は、マナーを守る必要があります。通夜や告別式で、お悔やみの挨拶をする場合には、基本的に受付でお悔やみの言葉をかけてから香典料を渡します。

葬儀場内で、ご遺族の方と会った際にも挨拶をすることはできますが、葬儀の場合は必ず、遺族の方にお悔みの言葉を掛けなければならないという訳ではありません。

葬儀の際に、ご遺族の方が忙しいようであれば、式場内で直接挨拶をするのを避けた方が良いでしょう。お悔やみの挨拶は、通夜や告別式の受付で香典料を渡す際に行うべきことです。

訃報を受け取った後に、電話でお悔やみの言葉を掛けることはマナー違反です。どうしても葬儀に参列することができない場合には、弔電やメールなどを通して挨拶をするようにします。

弔問に訪れることができずに、弔電やメールでお悔やみの挨拶をする際に、故人の宗教・宗派が分からない場合があります。

もしも、葬儀が執り行われる際の宗教・宗派が分からない場合には、弔電またはメールの文面を作成する際に特定の宗教用語を使用しないように、言葉を慎重に選ぶようにしましょう。

最後に

葬儀の際のお悔みの挨拶をする際には、挨拶の仕方や言葉の内容に注意を払う必要があります。

お悔やみの言葉を掛ける際は、ご遺族の方の宗教的な信条や死生観に配慮するようにして、シンプルな表現を心がけるようにしましょう。

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