知っておきたい通夜・葬式の参列マナー:通夜振る舞いはどうすればいい?

仏式葬で通夜が執り行われる場合に、地方によっては参列者に簡単な食事(通夜振る舞い)が出される場合があります。

これは、故人と最後の食事をするという意味があり、参列者に対するもてなしというだけでなく、葬儀の儀式とみなされます。

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通夜振る舞いの意味とマナー

「通夜振る舞い」とは、夕方から夜にかけて執り行われる仏式葬の通夜の際に、僧侶や参列者に対して提供される食事の席のことです。

これは、単に出席者に対するおもてなしだけでなく、故人と最後の食事会として、故人を供養するという意味もあります。

通夜振る舞いは、通夜の儀式の一部なので、遺族から勧められた場合には、できるだけ参加するのがマナーです。

通夜に出席する際に注意すべき点として、故人と近しい関係にあった人であれば、食事会にも参加するべきです。遺族に勧められた場合にも、なるべく辞退しないようにしましょう。

故人とさほど親しくない立場で、儀礼的に弔問に訪れただけであれば、遺族に勧められてもいないのに、食事会に参加することはマナー違反になってしまいます。

形式的に弔問に訪れた場合には、挨拶をした後に早めに退出することがマナーです。

地方によっては、通夜の際に弔問客に対して、食事を出す習慣がない所があります。参列者全員に、簡単な茶菓子を出す場合や、飲食物が一切提供されない地域もあります。

通夜が執り行われる地方の習慣によって、対応が異なるので注意が必要です。

通夜振る舞いに参加する場合の基本的なマナーとは

関東地方であれば、通夜の際に僧侶や弔問客に対して、食事が提供される場合があります。故人と関係が深かった場合や、ご遺族の方から勧められたら食事会に参加するようにします。

食事を頂く際にも、きちんとマナーを守る必要があります。一般的に通夜の際に、弔問客に食事が出される際は、簡単な立食形式の食事会であるケースがほとんどです。

簡単につまむことができるような寿司や、オードブルが出される場合がほとんどで、小皿に取っていただきます。遺族に勧められた場合には、一口でも料理をいただくようにしましょう。

食事会は、1~2時間程度行われますが、長居をしないように注意して早めに退出するのがマナーです。食事会の席では、遺族の方と会話をする機会があるかもしれません。会話の内容にも、注意を払うようにしましょう。

葬儀の際は「清め」のために、お酒が出される場合もあります。お酒が出された場合にも、飲み過ぎに注意するようにしましょう。

葬儀の際に食事が提供される場合には、故人を供養するための儀式の一部として、礼儀正しく振舞うようにすることが大切です。

通夜の際の食事会で会話をする際のマナーとは

通夜振る舞いの席では、遺族の方や他の弔問客の人と会話をする機会があります。葬儀の際の食事会に参加する人は、故人と親しかった人がほとんどなので、参加者同士が顔見知りである場合があります。

久しぶりに会う親類や旧友と顔を合わせて話をすることがありますが、会話内容や言葉について注意を払うようにしましょう。

通夜の際の食事会も、葬儀の儀式の一部です。そのため、故人と関係ない内容の会話は、避けるようにするのがマナーです。宴会のように、大声で話をしないように注意すべきです。

静かに、故人についての思い出話や、遺族の方に慰めの挨拶をするようにしましょう。

遺族の方に慰めの言葉をかける場合には、「忌み言葉」を避けるように注意しましょう。

忌み言葉には、「死」を含むような直接的な表現や、繰り返す意味の言葉(重ね重ね・くれぐれも・次に、など)、四または九などが含まれます。

遺族や親族の方と親しい場合には、打ち解けた雰囲気で会話をする機会があるかもしれませんが、使う言葉に注意を払うようにすべきです。

通夜の席で食事に参加する場合にも、遺族の方に迷惑をかけないようにするために、会話内容や振舞いに特に注意をするようにしましょう。

地方によって違う通夜振る舞いの習慣とは

一般的に、通夜の際に行われる食事会のことを「通夜振る舞い」と呼ばれますが、地方によって内容が大きく異なります。

関東地方であれば、通夜の弔問客に対して、簡単な食事やお酒が提供されますが、京都や大阪などの関西地方では、一般弔問客に食事やお酒を提供する習慣がありません。

弔問客に対して、簡単な茶菓子を渡す程度であったり、飲食物が提供されないケースもあります。

関西地方でも、通夜の後に食事会が開かれることがありますが、近親者や親戚、葬儀のお手伝いをしてもらった近所の人に、食事を提供するだけである場合がほとんどです。

京阪神地方で通夜振る舞いとは、近親者や親戚だけが一緒に食事をすることを意味しています。そのため、関西地方で執り行われる通夜に弔問に訪れる場合は、ご遺族の方に対する挨拶を済ませたら早めに退出することがマナーです。

関西地方出身の方が、関東地方で執り行われる通夜で弔問に訪れる場合、遺族の方から食事を勧められたら、断らないようにするように注意しましょう。

弔問に訪れる際は、通夜が執り行われる地方の習慣を把握しておくことが大切です。

最後に

弔問に訪れた際に、通夜振る舞いに出席するかどうか迷う場合には、遺族の方から勧められたら参加すると良いでしょう。

食事の席では会話の内容に注意を払い、長居をしないように早めに退出するのがマナーです。

地方によって、風習や習慣が異なるので、事前に調べておくと良いでしょう。

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