知っておきたい通夜・葬式の参列マナー:弔電を送る際のマナー

お通夜や葬儀に参列出来ない場合に、お悔やみの気持ちを表すメッセージとして、弔電を送るのもマナーに適ったことです。

ただ、故人に失礼のないように、遺族の気持ちを逆なでしないように、送るように注意する必要があるでしょう。

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いつまでに到着するようにするといいか

人が亡くなるのは、急なことがほとんどです。弔電を出す場合には、到着時間も考慮に入れなくてはいけません。マナーとしては、最低でも葬儀の1時間前までには到着している必要があります。

お通夜を行ってから、翌日に葬儀を執り行うのが一般的ですので、すぐに行われる場合は、翌日までには到着しなければいけないでしょう。

特に、亡くなったのが12月末の場合は、日を空けずに急いで行われることも予想されます。

すぐに手配しなくてはいけない場合は、決められた時間の範囲内であれば、即日受け取りにも対応出来る弔電サービスを行っている通信会社もありますので、検討してみるといいでしょう。

即日受け取りサービスの時間を過ぎた場合でも、翌日の8時以降であれば間に合う場合があります。もし、葬儀に間に合いそうになければ、電報でのメッセージの送付を断念するのも、マナーに適った方法でしょう。

故人のご家族宛に連絡を取るのが難しい場合は、親族の方に連絡を取り、参列できないことを詫び、後日お宅まで伺ってお悔やみを申し上げたい旨を伝えて、改めて弔問に伺うようにするといいでしょう。

宛先と差出人の記載の仕方

弔電の送付先は、自宅で行う場合以外は、葬儀を行う場所にするのがマナーです。葬祭場のホールの名前や寺院の名前は、間違えないように気をつけてください。

宅配サービスで配達される場合は、電話番号も必要になりますので、企業サイトなどで調べておくといいでしょう。

執り行う場所が不明であれば、故人のお宅に出すことになりますが、受け取り漏れがないように、親族に連絡しておく必要があります。宛名については、喪主の方の名前を記載します。

喪主以外の方に、お悔やみの気持ちを伝えたい場合、例えば、友人の親が亡くなった場合に、喪主でない友人宛にメッセージを送りたい場合は、喪主の方の名前の横に友人の名前を併記するといいでしょう。

葬祭場で他の同姓の家族が、同時に葬儀をすることも考えられますので、宛先の名前についてはフルネームで記載すると、届け先に間違いが生じる心配がありません。

故人の直接の知り合いでない場合、差出人名を記載しても、一目で誰か分からないこともあります。

仕事関係の知り合いであれば、所属している社名や肩書き、故人の子供と同級生の場合は、校名を入れて同窓と記載すると分かりやすいと思われます。

弔電の書き方のマナー

弔電の内容に対しては、特に決まりがあるわけではありません。故人と比較的親しい間柄であれば、用意されている定型文をそのまま利用するのではなく、独自性に溢れた内容のメッセージを送ると遺族に喜ばれるでしょう。

内容に関しては特になくても、マナーとしての決まりは2つあります。故人の名前を記載しないことと、忌み言葉に関する決まりです。

まず、故人の名前をメッセージの中に記載しないことです。尊敬の念や敬意の気持ちを示すために、軽々しく故人の名前を入れないようにします。名前を入れるとなれなれしい感じで、公式の場には相応しくありません。

喪主や受取人の両親であれば、お父様やお母様と記載するようにします。配偶者であれば、ご主人様やご令室様などの、敬称の語句を使うようにするといいでしょう。

忌み言葉については、重ね重ねや度々などの、同じ言葉の連続をさせないように気をつけましょう。同じ言葉が続くことで、不幸が続くという意味に転じ、縁起が悪いと嫌われます。

同様に死、苦を連想させる同音の言葉も入れないようにしましょう。また、仏式の葬式以外には、冥福やご愁傷様という言葉は使えません。仏教徒独特の語句ですので、気をつけてください。

弔電の申し込み方法と注意点

弔電を申し込むには、電話会社で開設している場合は、電話で直接申し込みが出来ます。文例集も豊富で、好ましいと思われる文例をそのまま利用することも可能です。

時間がない時に文章を考える時間がない時は、使いやすいでしょう。料金は1文字あたりの料金で計算される従量制ですので、短いメッセージを送りたい場合や、得意先関係で失礼のないように弔意を示したい場合にも便利でしょう。

料金の支払いは、電話料金と一緒に支払いができます。電報専門の業者で受付をしている場合は、インターネットからメッセージの書き込みや依頼をすることがほとんどです。

1通あたり300字~350字程度の定額制の料金体系で、様々な文例も揃えられていますが、多くのメッセージを書き込みできることから、故人との思い出を書き綴ったオリジナルメッセージを記載したい場合に好まれます。

入金確認の手間を省くために、弔電のような急ぎの場合は、クレジットカード決済を使うことがほとんどです。

電報とともに、花や線香などのお供え物を添えて送付できる場合がありますが、葬祭場の中には、提携している業者でないと、お供え物を上げられないことがあります。

お供え物が上げられるか分からない場合は、電報だけの送付にとどめておいた方が無難です。

最後に

弔電は、必ず送らなければならないという意味合いのものではありません。しかし、葬儀で故人への弔意を示すものとして欠かせないものです。

できれば、葬儀が終わった後に遺族にお悔やみの手紙を出したり、直接お線香を上げさせてもらったりして、遺族の方への配慮を忘れないようにするといいでしょう。

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