お見合いはどんなもの?利用方法や出会いまでの流れなど

私たちの祖父母より以前の時代には、お見合い結婚が主流でした。

親同士が決めた相手とお見合いをして、縁談がまとまります。まともに顔を見たのは、結婚式当日だったという話も珍しくありませんでした。

現代でも、お見合いはポピュラーな出会いのチャンスです。

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結婚相談所の利用方法

結婚相談所に登録をして、お見合いをセッティングしてもらうことができます。

多くの登録者の中から、様々な条件や価値観の合う相手を抽出します。

登録に、はそれなりに費用が掛かりますし、自分に関する証明書等を提出する必要があります。

基本的には、真剣に結婚を考える人が登録しているので、交際をスタートするとなると、結婚前提ということになります。

結婚相談所のシステムについては、専任のアドバイザーがいて、親身に相談にのってもらえます。

利用方法に不安があってもその都度質問すれば、丁寧に答えてくれるはずです。

データによるマッチング以外にも、この専任アドバイザーから、直接お見合いの相手を紹介してもらうこともあります。

長年の経験から、人柄や性格も加味しながら、選び出してくれます。

データだけに頼らないので、自分の理想とは少し違っても、相性が合う相手の可能性もあります。

知っておきたいお見合い本番の流れ

お見合いでは、事前にお相手について、色々な情報を得ることができます。

出身や学歴、勤め先や年収など、初対面では、なかなか面と向かって聞きづらい内容がわかるので安心です。

また、子供が好きかどうかや、女性に仕事を続けて欲しいのか、やめて欲しいのかというところまでわかったりもします。

趣味やメッセージから、人柄も少し垣間見ることができます。

お見合い当日は、アドバイザーの方から紹介を受けた後は、二人でお話をする流れになります。

短時間ではありますが、じっくりと腰を据えて、本音で話すことが大切です。

人物を自分なりに見極めて、後日交際をするかの返事を、アドバイザーの方から伝えてもらいます。

交際をどうするのか、自分の口で伝える必要がないのは、とても気が楽です。

もしお断りする場合でも、アドバイザーの方はプロですから、上手にやんわりと伝えてくれます。

お見合いで出会うことについて

人によっては、わざわざお見合いなんかしなくてもと、否定的な意見を言ってくることもあります。

今は昔と違って、独身同士であれば、自由に恋愛することが可能です。家柄や養子といった制約がある場合も、一昔前と比べるとぐんと減りました。

自然に出会って結婚まで至れば、それが一番かもしれません。ところが、そう簡単に結婚相手と出会えないというのも、現実にはあります。

とりわけ、人生計画を大まかにでも立てている人にとっては、理想の相手として、ある程度輪郭が出来上がっています。

そういったお相手と出会えるような場所へ行くなどするのも、方法かもしれません。仮にそこで出会えたとしても、相手が真剣に結婚を考えているのかどうかはわかりません。

その点、お見合いは違います。

自分の考えに近い人を選ぶことも可能ですし、基本的に付き合うなら結婚が前提です。

お見合いが他の婚活と一線を画す理由

婚活と言えば、合コンや恋愛アプリ、婚活イベントなど、今では幅広く選択肢が揃っています。

いい人とめぐり合いたいと思うなら、どんな出会い方でも十分可能性はあります。

それらの出会いと、お見合いでの出会いが違うのは、結婚したいと切実に考えている点にあります。

なるべく早く、結婚相手と出会うことを考えた時、そうでない人と恋愛をする時間はなるべく省きたいものです。

恋愛を楽しみたい、結婚に縛られたくないという考え方を、否定するつもりはありません。

早く運命の人と出会って、なるべく長く一緒にいたいと思うなら、自分の方から積極的動く必要があるのです。

お見合いでは、結婚相手として、申し分がないと判断できる人と出会えます。お互いに気が合えば、結婚までの流れはとてもスムーズに進みます。

また、お相手の事だけでなく、家族や家柄の事もわかった上で出会えるのも、ポイントです。

毎度の出会いが真剣勝負

お見合いは、簡単に言うと、異性と初めて会ってお互いのことを知ることです。

初対面の相手と、いきなり話すのは勇気が要ることかもしれません。

でも、この出会いが、自分の一生を左右するかもしれないと思えば、避けては通れない時間です。

自分にとっても、大切な出会いですが、それは相手にとっても同じことです。

必要以上に自分を良く見せるのではなく、ぜひ自然体で接したいものです。話し方や所作から、わかることも多いので見逃せません。

結婚相手としてふさわしいかどうか、しっかりと判断します。

相手からの発言や雰囲気から、自分がどのように見られているのかを、感じることができます。

データの上では、相性がばっちりでも、実際に会ってみると性格が合わなかった、ということもあります。

その逆もあり得るので、お見合いの場は、気が抜けない真剣勝負で挑みましょう。

最後に

たとえお見合いであっても、数ある出会いの一つに過ぎません。

自然な出会いでも、お見合いでも、最後に幸せな結婚をすればどちらでも構わないのです。

お見合いだからと身構えずに、ナチュラルに振舞うことが、運命の人を引き寄せるのです。

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